Difference Makers Are Hope-Filled People
Spread Hope, Joy, and Faith in Today and the Future
Difference makers are hope-filled people. Where others despair, difference makers see possibilities. Where others cynically blame their environment or the random forces of life for their current condition, difference makers forge ahead with the sure knowledge that good triumphs over evil, that everything works out for good in the end, and that life wins, life always wins. Difference makers are appreciative inquiry people, they seek the best in others because they know that within each person the seeds of greatness reside. Difference makers know when people collectively seek the best in each other; they exponentially increase their capacity to transform any situation. Today, the challenge is to be hope-filled, to see possibilities, and to discover the seeds of greatness in yourself and others.
From an appreciative inquiry perspective, describe an experience in your life where you helped another discover his/her seeds of greatness. What was the context? How did you help this person see his/her potential and possibilities? What was the outcome?
Filed under: Appreciative Inquiry and tagged Appreciative Inquiry, difference makers, faith, fuutre, good, Hope, joy, knowledge, life, possibilities, today, wins transforms
I have been in my current position for thirteen years as an elementary gifted intervention specialist. Most of my students enter my program as third graders and are with me until they move onto the middle school as sixth graders. I love this gift of time I have with my students. Three years affords me the time to build relationships with my students as well as their academic talents.
It was my second year of teaching in my current position that I was blessed with a most exceptional student. “Eric” was gifted and learning disabled. Sometimes we refer to this as twice exceptional or asycnchronis. Eric was a brilliant math student as a third grader, yet struggled in reading, writing, and speech. In addition, he had social issues and was later diagnosed with mild aspergers. People with Aspergers(on the continuim of autism) have a specific set of social norms . Often times they live in a world of their own creation, they do not pick up on typical social cues, and may not seem to participate in the curriculum of public school and are certainly unaware of the hidden curriculum.
I so desperately wanted to develop Eric’s gifts and create additional positives from those areas which had been identified as weaknesses. It was a challenge getting Eric into the gifted program as it was very difficult to capture his high cognitive ability on our standardized tests. In addition, his classroom teacher was oppossed to Eric being pulled out of the classroom for the two hours a week to participate in the gifted program as he was already leaving the classroom for speach intervention as well as reading and writing help.
Eric’s parents were very suppotive of my position and did not want to sacrfice time devoted to developing his gifts for the sake of time spent on intervention addresses his “weaknesses”. In other words, his parents were good students of appreciative inquiry as they wanted the emphasis to be on what works, what in this child is wonderful and life affirming.
It was my second year with Eric that we experienced a break through both socially and academicly. Eric was seeing a pyschologist outside of school who was helping him with social and emotional issues. I was able to support this effort in the gifted program as students who are pulled out for gifted intervention tend to have social and emotional issues. My gifted classes consist of small groups and part of what I do is academic while at the same time addressing social and emotional needs.
That year I decided to embark on an economics simulation with Eric’s class, 4th graders. My students started a business, learned principles of economics and ultimately raised $600.00 for a local charity. Due to his math gift and love of the businees world, Eric really ran with this project. He was pretty much in charge, our CEO, so to speak and because the project was so successful became a hero among his peers.
Eventually Eric moved onto middle school, then, high school where he discoverd a gift and love af science as well as math. A few weeks ago I heard Eric’s father speak (he is in education as well). After his speech I was leaving the auditorium, I felt a tug on my sleeve, it was Eric’s father. He said I just wanted you to know Eric’s in college now, pre-med, he said with a father’s pride. I smiled and said “that doesn’t surprise me.” He said very simply “My wife and I have never forgotten what you did for our son.”
Jill, What a great story. You worked appreciatively with Eric’s parents & Eric on what he could do! That is the central point. You focused on his strengths - as a result, Eric grew to believe in himself and now he will serve others because, in great part, of the appreciative partnership you formed with his parents. RC
Jill, what a touching account of how you made a difference to this little guy and his parents. You could have been cynical and taken the path of least resistance. Instead, you knew what was right for Eric and were relentless in your cause. How grand! Whether you take credit or not, his time spent with you changed the course of his life - and for the better. Jill, you are a true difference maker in groovy shoes! DM
When I was twelve years old my great-grandfather left home at 4:00 in the afternoon to pick up planting seeds from town. My grandmother asked him to remember the radishes this time. He never made it back home. Just like that, a tragic car accident took him from her and our family.
I have often wondered if the pain from his death stemmed from the suddenness of it all or from the fact that he was a gentle soul loved by all. It was the first time in my life that I saw my grandfather, his son, cry. It was also the first time I witnessed anger toward God. Seeing the adults in your life upset is a sobering experience for a young person and left a lifelong impression on me.
What was I to do as a twelve year old in this situation? Being present for my grandmother was all that seemed possible. I would ask permission to walk to her house and I would hangout with her. We would make dinner, do the dishes, and watch baseball. She loved baseball, especially the Cubs, and knew more about the game than anyone else in our family. I wasn’t able to do anything more than being with her, and made a point to do it as often as I could.
My grandmother drove very little in her life, and with the onset of rheumatoid arthritis in her hands she drove even less. However, now that my grandfather was gone, she was left to the mercy of her children and grandchildren to drive her places and deliver things to her. One day while we were cleaning out her garage, I asked if she ever considered driving again? She snickered and said, “No, not with my hands.” I pressed a little more and asked if she would consider driving to our house? A little side note, my entire family lives on one road in the middle of the country. Cars are seldom on the road and even at a lightning speed of 20 mph, she could make the drive to our house in less than two minutes. Completely unlike my rule-following personality, I suggested we give it a try. I told her we could take it slow and surprise my mother. The next thing I knew we loaded up in the Grand Marquis and were backing out of the garage. Even at the age of twelve, I can remember vividly thinking that she was happy as we crawled out of her garage. It was probably the first time she had done anything on her own since my grandfather’s death. Oddly enough, her happiness in the present made her inability to grip her hands seem not so bad. We pulled out of the drive and headed on our adventure – the approximate 1.2 miles down the road to my house. Did I mention that she insisted on taking her purse just in case we got pulled over? I haven’t thought about that in over twenty years. Blogging is powerful on so many levels. Anyway…
As we approached my parents, my grandmother looked at me and said, “What do you say? Let’s go to town!” And with that, Thelma and Louise were off. As renegades, we went to the grocery store, the bank, and culminated our trip with a stop for ice cream. I will never forget sitting in the car licking our ice cream cones. The painful memories may stick with us, but the good ones still make us smile years and years later.
I didn’t think much of it back then, but I now look back and hope I provided her with a little gift of freedom. Our conversation in the garage reminded her that she still had a life to live - her life. My grandfather was gone, but she didn’t have to be gone as well. Although rare, she did drive for several years thereafter as long as I road shotgun with her. I have always prided myself that she never drove with anyone else. It’s a minor detail that everyone else had a driver’s license, but I like to think it was our special thing.
I’m convinced difference makers don’t realize they are making a difference. Difference making is a way of life. And, if we are lucky, our way of life will make a small impact on someone else. Looking back, I’m hopeful riding with my grandmother gave her a little happiness and helped her forgot about the loneliness, if even for a little while.
DM - What an amazing story. You “were there” for your grandmother and showed her through your actions that life wins, life always wins. Never lose the 12 year old mentality. RC
DM
Your story carries so many lessons. I absolutely love the notion that your grandmother needed you in a capacity that the “world” would have seen you as being very inept. The two of you created such as a special nook. Is it possible that those moments with your grandmother were the seeds of the part of you that nurtures others?
DM,
What a great story about how the “smallest” kid in the family was able to have the biggest impact. You were like her own little battery-pack of hope who could help jump-start her and get her moving in ways that others just couldn’t quite manage. What a great vision and insightful post about being a difference-maker. BTW, I’ll bet she didn’t settle for just a vanilla cone when she was riding high with her difference-maker…butter pecan or cherry-something is my guess.
J,
I love the impact and difference-making that your insight and persistence afforded this student. As an advocate for children, it is clear that you recognize your role as someone who can affirm students’ capacities for some destination that is yet unknown, but that can be Great. Below is a pretty well-known poem (from a Lebanese minister/artist born in the 1800’s) which my wife and I sometimes reflect upon as we anchor ourselves in the mission (and sometimes craziness) of parenthood. I think it applies nearly as well to educators and our students…
“On Children” by Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
http://www.katsandogz.com/onchildren.html
Sometimes difference makers aren’t those folks who have boundless energy and enthusiasm for a vision or other obviously-transformative characteristics. Sometimes the difference makers are just the folks who quietly plod along or nonchalantly make connections with those most in need who are the difference makers. We can all recall news stories when the modest old man in a simple ranch house and scuffed-up shoes dies with no family members and ends up leaving the local college or humane society a $1M endowment. Or the student in the hallway who daily and unceremoniously knuckle-bumps the kid in the wheelchair. Or even the clerk at the store who accepts an expired coupon. I like to think of one experience in Mexico teaching that might fit the profile of a difference maker who just fell into a “difference-makingâ€? situation by just bein’ a being.
My first year teaching was in Mexico, and I was a teacher with strong perceptions of self-efficacy and enthusiasm to burn. Things went well – within the first couple weeks I received a typed letter (dot-matrix printer) from the Superintendent (Dr. Arthur Chaffee) that detailed a conference he just had with a parent, and thanked me for the good work I was doing with the parent’s student. The letter said that “the mother is very, very, very (3x intentionally) pleased with her daughter’s excitement for the class environment and activities. When happy, the girl can be a good student. When not, she can be a real pain.� I loved the Supt’s candor – a “real pain� – and the story was just one of many successful affirmations of my impact.
What was a really special and far more compelling difference-making scene, though, occurred one Thanksgiving when a bi-national family invited me to their home for a holiday meal. It wasn’t unusual for families to occasionally “adopt� the few Americans for a holiday meal and some “down-home� cooking. What was neat was that the parent’s grandmother was also in the country visiting from Minnesota. As we were talking and enjoying time together while the meal was cooking, I brought up that my folks were from Minnesota originally. We soon realized that the visiting grandmother lived in the town where my dad had grown up. I gave her my grandparents’ names (they had passed away many years earlier). A couple more “back-and-forth’s� and then she asked if my grandfather had owned a gas station. I said, “Well, not that I know of….� She said that she and her deceased husband had known a man with a similar name that fit our conversation, but that the last name was pronounced a bit differently. I immediately remembered that when my dad moved to Ohio, he changed the pronunciation of our last name to better fit the phonetic spelling that was commonly used when he was in the army in Korea.
Well, when we made the 6-degrees-of-separation connection, she was able to tell me a lot about my grandfather (and by extension, my dad) who had owned a gas station, but lost it during the depression. Obviously blown away (really, all of us in the room), I asked her if she’d write my dad a note about her memories of my grandfather. She did, and I remember giving that note to my dad as a Christmas present (all wrapped in a box, of course) a couple weeks later when I was visiting Ohio during the holiday break. He read the note to himself. And cried. We were all silent.
And then he shared the note. And we all cried. And realized how the little things – sometimes just being in the right place at the right time – was a firm affirmation that life is an amazing patch of fabrics made up of threads that can label us and also tie us together. And that we are all difference makers – even when weaving our own pieces in an unseen and unexpected quilted connection to others.
Every morning, my middle school- language arts students start the period with silent reading. This is the time where I differentiate instruction to challenge my advanced students and to also utilize intervention strategies with my low reading students.
For my struggling readers, I try to find books that appeal to their interest or their background/ experiences. I finally found a book that appealed to my lowest 8th grade male student. I did so, through the book After Tupac & D Foster by Jacqueline Woodson. The book starts with the main character dialoguing about how “Tupac probably starting thinking about his Big Purpose in jail.”
As my struggling reader sounded out each phoneme- and then finally re read the sentence with fluency. I asked him, what he thought his Big Purpose was. Having been a gang banger in Arkansas with a rapsheet a mile long…. he answered that he didn’t think he had one. I asked him what he thought about Tupac and if he had a purpose… his response was yes. He explained how Tupac had come from nothing, and made something of himself that affects people all over the world. So I then asked him, if Tupac a former gang banger… was able to become a phenomenon, despite his negative past… Why not him?
I also told him how I was amazed at his character during the field trip we took to Old Man’s Cave just yesterday. During which, I used his own money— and not only offered to buy snacks for me, but also bought a small ring and loads of food and snacks for his “begging” peers… I told him… that his actions reflected his genuine and sincere heart for giving. I likened him to Oprah…. and I could just see his eyes light up! I got such a high from seeing that spark in his eyes! Not only is he enjoying reading, I think he is enjoying the idea of dreaming! I know the sky is the limit for this young man!
Jill,
Your story was amazing!!!! You trusted your instinct and really fought for your beliefs- not only those regarding your ability to reach Eric, but ultimately your belief in Eric. Wow was it worth it!
Your efforts truly further validate appreciative inquiry… because you chose to focus your full energy on nurturing weaknesses instead of “remedying deficiencies.” Your vision of Eric was half full…. and boy is his cup brimming over now, as a result of your efforts.
Your story is inspiring for all teachers- desiring to be difference makers.
TK,
You are absolutely right, there is some sort of cosmic continuum of difference making… it ranges from the overt acts of charity, to the simple smiles of acceptance of teachers listening to students vent about the daily “pangs” of adolescence.
I really believe when people make it up in their mind that they want to be a vessel of hope and love… God aligns an “assembly line” of opportunities to help and heal the hurting among us.
I really applaud your desire and your efforts to be that vessel!
TK,
Thanks for sharing, you are correct, difference makers walk quietly on this planet. A gesture, a letter, a moment of kindness is often all it takes to make a difference in a person’s life. RC
HH, One day this young man, with whom you have invested so much time, will do something special and it will be because you believed in him, you brushed aside the externals and saw his seed of greatness. Thank you. RC
Tim, what an awesome story! Your grandfather started a difference-making tradition that you have quietly continued. You come from a long line of difference makers and it is clear that time, distance, and circumstance has not weakened its purpose. Life is grand!
TK
What a powerful testimony to the importance of heritage and the contributions of those who came before us. We seem to live now in a media induced somewhat youth obsessed culture. I love knowing that there are people out there like you ( ambitious as well as intellectual) who still value those things most precious. What’s even more beautiful to think about is the knowledge that you are sharing this way of treasuring what is truly valuable with our youth!
tk
Thank you for sharing this very moving story about the letter written to your father from someone who knew your family years before. It is very evident that family means a great deal to you and what a difference maker you are to your family! It is clear that your adventure as a teacher in Mexico was filled with life lessons and those lessons have shaped you into the difference maker that you are today!
Jill
I am inspired by you as an educator! You never fail to find the shining light hidden deep within a child. Imagine the difference you have made with all of the “Erics” you have impacted throughout your thirteen years of teaching!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!
Last week the state of Ohio gave the Ohio Graduation Test to high school students across the state. One of my responsibilities included testing students who have not passed one or more parts of the OGT but yet they have earned enough credits to graduate. Many of those students have should have received a diploma up to ten years ago and they would have had it not been for the OGT requirements for graduation.
One female student in particular was from the class of 2004 and still has not passed the math portion of the OGT. During the math test on Tuesday, this student quit taking the test after approximately 30 minutes. She brought her test booklet to me and was sobbing. I asked her what was wrong and she stated that she could not take the test because she wasn’t prepared. She stated that she has not taken any math classes for five years and that there was no way that she was going to pass the test.
I walked with the student from the testing room and tried to console her. She stated that she needed to pass the math OGT so that she could enroll in school to become an LPN. I encouraged her not to give up and that she could take the math test again in March.
I walked her to my office and we sat and talked for a while. I learned that she was the mother of 3 young children all under the age of five. She also stated that her oldest son had learning problems and that she was taking him to speech and language classes once a week on the COTA bus for a one hour ride each way.
The young mother indicated that she did not have any math resources or study guides for the OGT but that she did have a computer at home. I was able to show her the Ohio Department of Education website and gave her directions to the test-taking materials that are available to use as study guides. We printed materials for her to use over the next several months to better prepare her for the math exam in March. I also gave her copies of the study workbooks that we have used in our tutorial sessions with the non-grad students.
We exchanges phone numbers and I have made a commitment to contact her every couple of weeks to see how she is progressing. She also has made a promise to attend the tutorial sessions that we will provide before the exam in March. She also promised that she would contact me whenever she was feeling defeated or when thoughts of giving up entered her mind.
My wish is that this young mother continues to dream of a brighter future for herself and her children. I only hope that I CAN be the difference maker for this young lady who has so many burdens at such a young age!!(to be continued…..)
In 1995, I was an assistant principal at Northland High School. My major duty at the time was 9th grade discipline. Northland had a mixture of students of various socio-economic levels. Our toughest group of students came from the short north area, which is known in Columbus as a place you would not want to be after dark. This particular school year we inherited many students from the short north area with an array of challenges. One young lady, Janelle Ross, had lost her mother to violence the summer before entering her 9th grade year at Northland. The 1st quarter of her 9th grade year was a rocky one for both she and I. She was angry, insolent, had low self esteem and disrespectful; all of which would earn her multiple day suspensions on a very regular basis. My frequent contact with Janelle allowed us to build a relationship that last until this day. As a freshman, inspite of her tough living arrangements with foster parents, her obvious need for nuturing and the number of days she received no credit in her classes as a result of being suspended, Janelle completed the year with over a 3.4 cumulative grade point average. This made me pause and reconsider some of my preconceived notions about Janelle. Considering her remarkable academic progress, I spoke to her about the possibility of applying to the Northland High School Teaching Academy. Students were admitted to this program based on their academic achievement and character. While the academic piece was easy, Janelle’s character left something to be desired. I went out on a limb to vouch for her to the selection committee and assured them that I would be totally responsible for Janelle while she was a member of the Teaching Academy. She was accepted and the Teaching Academy changed her life. As Janelle became involved more deeply with the academy and activities associated with the same, she began to change her company, which in turn, changed her behavior. Through constant mentoring over the next 3 years, Janelle became one of our top 25 graduates. During her senior year we began to talk about college and ultimately, she was accepted to The Ohio State University. Janelle completed her BA in education and immediately entered law school at OSU. I am very proud to say that she is a practicing attorney in the central Ohio area and as far as I know, she is doing quite well. I have had many success stories as an educator, but by far, Janelle Ross was my toughest challenge.
HH:
Your ability to communicate and have a relationship with this young man allowed him to become open to the possibilities. Sometimes all it takes is someone to believe in you.
J. Your powerful story points out two important stories: The mistake made when policy is more important than people; And, a person [you] who is making a person more important than policy. I encourage you to email or call this woman each week. Your offer to stay in touch will make a difference in her life and lives of her children. RC
Laura, You took a risk when you vouched for Janelle. Your risk paid dividends in proving to be the catalyst that transformed Janelle’s life. Janelle discovered her great potential. Because of you, her’s is not a tragic story, but one that will inspire other young women. Good for you. RC
DM - What a touching story. It is apparent that you have been a difference maker a long time. It was YOU who re-acquainted your grandmother with her independence. You could not have given her a greater gift. This story should make you smile for years to come. What a wonderful relationship between grandmother and grandson. Count yourself as one of the lucky few who have such memories.